The world is a weird and wonderful place. Get this:
Not bad - not something I’d be able to knock over lunch, but definitely impressive from in terms of sheer gluttony. Can we say Roman Empire?
I mean seriously - the damn thing is bigger than his head!!! He can’t get his mouth around it - look at how large a bite he’s taking, and then look at how many bites he’s still got to go! It’s made with:
- 2 kilos (!) of meat
- two whole onions
- two tomatoes
- a half a head of lettuce
- 3 pickles
- a really big bun
Of course, what’s a burger without condiments? For a taste sensation, add:
- a cup (!) of mayonnaise
- a cup of ketchup
- a cup of mustard
- a cup of relish
- a cup of peppers
Of course, if that isn’t enough, add:
- half a kilo (!) of cheese
All up, about 2 kilos of meat and 3 kilos of “fixins”. The thing is such a beast, it takes 45 minutes to cook. They don’t mention it, but I’m sure they offer a side dish of a kilo of fries and a four litre milkshake. Of course, for the “lesser men” among us, you’re free to go for the 1 kilo “Challenger” or the 1.5 kilo “Baby Boy”.
Now, this boggles me on many levels. Many, many levels. First of all, how the hell do you fit that into your stomach? Keeping things in perspective, that’s roughly the weight of one of my dogs. On a heavy meat night, I’ll eat around 300 grams of meat. A good steak is 500, and at that level, I’m serious struggling. how the hell do you eat 2 kilos of meat in one sitting?
Of course, there’s a reward for finishing it in under three hours. You get a t-shirt, a poster, a certificate (for that job you’ve always dreamed of applying for, of course), and your tab’s on the house. You don’t have to pay the … get this … $23.95 US.
$23.95 for half a kilo of cheese, 2 kilos of meat, bread, 2 kilos of veggies, somewhere around 500 grams of pure fat and sugar, as well as labour and overheads. If that weren’t enough, the story gets better. Seriously. Bad man Eric “Badlands” Booker tried to beat the 3 hour window, but couldn’t.
Once wasn’t enough, so he tried twice more. On the third, he finally finished it after 3 hours. He’s a world champion hot dog eater, so you know if he can’t do it, it’s got to be pretty tough. We’ll revist that one though.
Finally though, the challenge fell this month. By a 19 year old college student - a 100 pound (45 kilos) girl. Check that again - a 19 year old, 45 kilo girl.
She ate over 10% of her bodyweight in one sitting. And, she did it in under three hours!! I can’t help but think how the hell did she manage to fit all that in, but also how the hell is she going to get it all out again?! We’re talking somewhere around 3-5 kilos of waste, all likely to be coming out in the next day or two. I feel bloated after I’ve eaten a Big Mac - I can’t even begin to imagine how she’d be feeling.
Think it’s bullshit? Check this.
But, back to bad man Eric “Badlands” Booker. Apparently there’s an entire international sporting competition involving eating hot dogs. I always knew about the fair competitons (who hasn’t seen Stand By Me?), but apparently there’s actually a rolling circuit and celebrity status awaiting for those who can most effectively eat hot dogs. Probably groupies too - at this point, I’m about ready to believe anything. Bad man Booker has been cruising the circuit for quite a few years now, and has a pretty impressive resume (currently ranked 4th in the world):
- eating 25 dozen oysters in 10 minuntes (coming second to Sonya Thomas, who ate 36 dozen)
- a kilo of chocolate candy in 6 minutes
- 3 onions in one minue
- 49 glazed donuts in 8 minutes.
If you want to know more, check out his site. Or, even better, check out the Glutton Bowl and have a look over the contenders at the International Federation of Competitive Eating. But, he pales in comparison to Takeru Kobayashi.
Takeru, also know as “The Tsunami”, holds the current leader status by eating 53 and 1/2 hot dogs. 53 and 1/2 hot dogs in 12 minutes. That’s roughly one every 13 seconds. I can visualise the first. The second would be getting a little difficult. The third would be pushing it. The next two would be painful. And, at that point, you’re about 10% of the way through.
Scary. The world is a weird and wonderful place. I couldn’t make this shit up.
Update:
Just found the competitive speed eating record sheet. Highlights include:
- 800 grams of butter in 5 minutes
- 167 chicken wings in 32 minutes
- 1.5 gallons of chili in 10 minutes
- 3.6 kilos of mayonnaise in 8 minutes
Just remember kids, don’t try this at home.